Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
