youre lurking in front of me
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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