so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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