Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
