I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
