Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
