Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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