Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
