I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
