remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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