wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
