I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
