The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
