no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
