I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
