help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im about as happy as oj after his trial
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
