his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
