Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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