I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
