My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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