...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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