have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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