still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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