That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
