Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
