How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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