Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
