evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
