There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
