Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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