i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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