I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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