I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
