Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
