Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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