No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
