Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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