pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
