it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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