You're my little dorito
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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