I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
