chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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