My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
there is puke in my bra ... again
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
