His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
