You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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