3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
