Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
