On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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