so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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