I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
