we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
