idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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