Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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