Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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