Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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