I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
