white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
