how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
