Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
