I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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