I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You can't special order awesome
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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