Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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