Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
