What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
