no, he came in my armpit
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
