i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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