Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
