I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
