woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
